The Demons Have Taken Over

The Demons Have Taken Over

Written by Joseph E. Duncan, III, (41) convicted child sex offender and murderer. 
 9:17 PM Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Thanks for the comments. As far as letting God take care of the Demons, too late. They've locked up the "Happy Joe" person in the same dungeon that "Happy Joe" kept them in for so many years. Now they are loose and I am very afraid. From now on I may refer to "Happy Joe" as "Jet" (me) and the demons as "The Bogeyman." If you are familiar with me or even my fifthnail website then you will understand the names.
I have been asking God to help defeat the demons. In fact, last night I was on my knees begging him, crying out loud to him, to help me. He didn't answer, again. The problem is I am loosing my religion. I don't accept anything at face value, not even my own thoughts. So when I start having religious convictions I question the source. And in my current situation I figure I am under a lot of stress, and there are perfectly natural human mechanisms that account for all religious experiences. The demons (if that's what they/it are/is--I use the term for mere convenience) have convinced me that I should at least question my religious beliefs, (this makes sense, otherwise I would believe anything) and that is how they got the key to the dungeon, and trapped me inside.
To be more specific, I am scared, alone, and confused, and my reaction is to strike out toward the perceived source of my misery, society. My intent is to harm society as much as I can, then die. As for the "Happy Joe" (Jet), well he was just a dream. The bogeyman was alive and happy long before Happy Joe.
I was in prison for over 18 years, since the age of 17. As an adult all I knew was the oppression of incarceration. All those years I dreamed of getting out...And getting even. Instead, I got out and I got even, but did not get caught. So, I got even again, and again did not get caught. So, I figured, well, I got even twice (actually more, but that's here nor there), even if I'm the only one who knows, so now what? Well that was when the "Happy Joe" dream started. I met a bunch of really great people, the kind of people I didn't even know existed, but here they were, bunches of them, my neighbors, my landlords, my professors, my coworkers, and they were all good people, who were willing to give me a chance despite my past. They were willing to accept me and be my friend, something that was new for me, having been betrayed by many "friends" and even my own family.
So, I tried to make it work. But the problem was those demons. The ones who "got even" for me. They kept reminding me that if my new "friends" knew about them (and what they, I, had done to even), then so much for their friendship. So, "Happy Joe" was just dreaming, or pretending to be happy.